Six Year Olds Don’t Know A Thing About Death

It was September. 2001. I was glad I was missing a day of first grade, but I wasn’t glad that it was for a funeral. Six year olds don’t know a thing about death. It was just, “Great Grandpop is sleeping.”



I didn’t feel good the next morning. It was close to a tummy ache that even pop star Barbie had trouble fixing. Six year olds can’t comprehend.

“Why is Daddy yelling on the phone?”

“It’s nothing, Pumpkin.”

The overhead speaker is loud but calm. “We’re sorry, folks. We don’t know who is controlling our airspace. We have to evacuate the plane.”

“What’s going on, Mommy?”

“Stay close to me.”

Everyone was gathered around the TVs in the waiting area. One really tall building. On fire. People crying. Panicked.

Six year olds don’t know a thing about death, but we understood.


xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2019 || Kat

Practice Makes Perfect

“I’m not giving up! I’m going to get a platinum award at competition tomorrow!” The girl cried at her dance teacher. She marched away with tears streaming down her face, headed straight to the dance room.

The girl stood in the middle of the big square room. She pressed her hands to her face, rubbing and shaking her head. Trying to rub away the tears and pressure to be perfect. She walked closer to the mirror and stared straight into her owns eyes. A mental pep talk between herself and the girl in the mirror. She tightened her brunette ponytail until it had no chance of falling out when dancing. Then she fixed her black sports bra, untwisting the straps and then tugged at her nylon shorts that were starting to ride up.

She walked backward on the marley floor to the corner of the room where a large black speaker sat. She picked up her iPod and tapped on it forcefully to start the music. From there she quickly ran to the middle of the room and took a deep breath before getting into her starting pose.

The soft lyrical music started, and she began to move gracefully. Her right arm flowed up and then she turned around herself. She danced beautifully but suddenly stopped every movement to stand there and shake her head back and forth. Her eyebrows scrunched together, frustrated.

She sat down where she was and laid back onto the floor, staring at the ceiling. The music continued playing as she sprawled out. Her shoulders started to jerk. She was crying again.

As the music went on, her breathing got deeper. She stayed there until the song finished then slowly got up again. She dusted herself off and wiped away her tears as she ran over to start the music again. She did just as she did before, taking a deep breath and getting into her starting pose. Her right arm lifted and she turned around herself with the music. She kicked, leaped, and pirouetted all across the floor. Everything was perfect from head to toe. Her legs were straight, feet pointed, and arms graceful.

She went through the whole dance and finished with her final pose on the floor. She wasn’t even there for a second before she got up to start the music again, a cycle that happened nine more times.

“Blair, we’re waiting on you to lock up the studio,” her dance teacher popped her head in the room. She stared with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes.

She put her hands to the sides of her head squeezing as if she were trying to get her head to stop overthinking. A single tear fell from her left eye, “I can’t leave. I need to be perfect.”


xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2019 || Kat

The Language of a Strict Ballet Teacher

Hair up. Spray the flyaways. Chin up. Don’t pout. Suck in your stomach. Tuck your butt under. Lengthen your legs and tighten your knees. Turn out your foot. From the ankle. Pull your heel forward. Point your toes. Water? No. Hands are dead. Lengthen through the tips of your fingers. Shoulders down. Don’t look down. Chin up. Come on. Horrible. Butt in. Use your stomach. You need to eat more salad. I don’t know how you’re doing that with no coordination. Spot! Spot! Tighten the supporting leg. Tabletop Tutus? Your legs are too big for those. A romantic tutu will cover those better. No smiling. No laughing! Sit in froggy. You need to stretch your hips. No flexibility. Tighten your back. Chin up. This needs to be perfect. Wrists are broken. Lengthen. Lengthen. Fix your hair. Shoulders down. Do you even want to be here? Many other girls would love to have this spot. Point your feet. Land more gracefully. Quiet! No laughing! Tighten your knees. Turn out from your heels. Chest up. Where is your coordination? Get out! Out of my class!


xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2019 || Kat


It’s the middle of the night and I have to run around the house. It’s routine. I don’t care if people are sleeping. It’s routine. I stretch my legs and back ready to dash. It doesn’t matter if I run into the wall or knock over a photo. That will be taken care of tomorrow. Should I jump on the bed? No! The counter is better. That’s where the food is kept. I run, picking up speed too fast. The scratching is loud against the floor. My ears pick up shifting in the other room. Uh oh. I quickly slide into the kitchen, careful not to be caught. The lights are off so I’ll blend in. Jumping on the counter I accidentally knock over a cereal box. Thud. It’s tempting to knock down the cup left in front of me. I stretch my arm. Should I? Maybe I’ll slowly push it off. Slow. Slow. I watch as the cup falls off the counter. Thud. The footsteps are quick. The lights flick on.

“Meow!” I face my servant. She caught me.

“What are you doing, Salem?” My weirdly hairless servant walks toward me and picks me up. Just wait. As soon as I’m put down, I’ll bite her ankle. How dare she disrupt my routine!

Processed with VSCO with g3 preset

xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2019 || Kat

Always Halloween

Blaire Donovan adjusted the black pointy witch hat on her head in the body mirror in front of her. With her green eyes, she examined her pale skin and her long black straight hair that curled at the ends. She wore a black baby doll dress with poufy sleeves, black tights, and black combat boots. It looked no different than her everyday wear, just today she included the hat. Blaire started singing along to a Blink 182 song that was playing on her vintage record player when something caught her attention in the mirror. Her black cat, Salem, was knocking bobby pins off her dresser. There was a ping every time one hit the floor. She watched through the mirror as he moved towards a glass of water. His tiny black paw was raised… ready to push it off.

“Salem!” she quickly turned to shoo him off the dresser, but he jumped and dodged. Knocking over mini ceramic candy corns and scattering polaroid pictures of Blaire and her friends everywhere. She chased Salem around the room, her boots scuffing against the dark hardwood floor. Salem jumped onto her bed and so did Blaire, crumpling the black comforter. Salem jumped off skidding against the black and white striped wall, making his way out of Blaire’s room.

“Salem! Get back here!” Blaire ran towards her door and jumped back when she saw her little brother standing there with a creepy clown mask. He didn’t move. He just stood there. Blaire was used to this.

Blaire put her hands on her hips, “Seriously, Dex. You got to do more than that to scare me.”

Blaire walked out of her room, pushing on her little brother’s shoulder, getting a ‘Hey!’ out of him. She walked down the stairs, holding onto the black stairwell. She could feel her brother creeping behind her but she didn’t have the patience to mess with him.

“Kids! Dinner’s ready!” Blaire heard her mom’s voice chime through the house. The Donovan’s had dinner as a family every night. It was a tradition.

“Coming!” Blaire yelled just as the doorbell rang. She was confused because no one ever comes over at 7 o’clock. All of Blaire’s friends knew she would be having dinner.

Blaire walks to the door. It was red in contrast to the house that was fully black and white. She turns the knob, opening it to a boy around her age, probably 17 or 18.

“Hi, is Blaire here?”

Blaire looked at him, head to toe. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes were darting back and forth. A light blue polo shirt covered what could be a muscular body and then dark blue jeans that didn’t match his red Converse. His feet kept moving, he couldn’t stand still.

“I’m Blaire. What do you want?” Blaire crossed her arms and raised her right eyebrow. She started tapping her foot when he didn’t answer right away.

The boy’s eyebrows scrunched together and he looked out into the street and then back at Blaire. “Uhh, are you a witch? I mean, it’s cool if you are? I… it’s February? Well, that’s not why I came here but…”

“It’s always Halloween in the Donovan house.” Blaire laughed at his nervousness. She shut the door before he could say anymore and headed to the dining room.



xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2017 || Kat

Roadtrip with Baby J

“Roadtrippppp!” Emily’s husband bellows out.

Emily rolls her eyes, “Stop, Cam. We’re only going to the grocery store. Please just help me.”

She continues shoving extra packs of baby wipes into the diaper bag while trying to balance the baby on her hip. The stroller is already by the door. The trunk is open with the car running, waiting to be packed.

“Oh, come on. It’s just like the road trips we had before Baby J.” Cam starts tickling the baby’s feet and she starts kicking, laughing. The baby starts wiggling in Emily’s arm.

“The store is only ten minutes away. I need your help, Cam, please,” she huffs out.

Emily hands the baby over to Cam and picks up the bottles of milk, adding it to the diaper bag. She looks over to the other three bags on the island that are already full to the brim. She then glances over to the sink full of dishes and sighs.

“I think we have everything.” Emily places her hands on her hips and watches her husband make silly faces at the baby.

The last time they were on a roadtrip was over a year ago. Emily was 5 months pregnant when she returned home from their trip across the States. They saw the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Passed through the Grand Canyon in Arizona. Went white water rafting in Colorado. Saw caves in Georgia. And watched the waves on the coast of Maine. Emily remembers listening to 90s music the whole trip before she found out that she was pregnant. She remembers how much fun she had and could understand why Cam got excited whenever they packed up to leave the house. Even if they were going five minutes away to the park, she would hear the familiar, “roadtrippppp.”

She smiles at Cam now, “maybe instead of the grocery store, we could visit my mom in California?”

Cam’s eyebrows scrunch together and then he smiles too, “I mean, we look like we’re packed to travel all the way across the states again.”

“I think Baby J will have as much fun as we did.” She gives her husband a quick kiss before walking into another room and coming back with a suitcase.

“Roadtrippppp!” Emily yells this time instead of Cam. He smiles and starts hopping around with Baby J.

Baby J is giggling when Cam repeats, “Roadtrippppp!”



xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2017 || Kat

Pokémon Go


Pokémon Go was all the rage for a few months. People would flock to areas trying to catch a rare pokémon. Charizards would lead to pushing and screaming. Groups of people were playing. Big or small, old or young, a pro or newbie. Everyone played. Pidgeys, Rattatas, Caterpies were becoming a nuisance. Cars stopped in the middle of the road to get pokéstops. People who never exercised were getting on bikes again. Walking to get a 10km egg to hatch. Swiping at the screen and cursing when you ran out of pokéballs.

Months passed and many people stopped playing. Now pokéstops were left unturned. Charizards ignored. Eggs left unhatched and unwanted. Were pidgeys even considered a nuisance if there was no one to annoy them with?

Elle decided to download the Pokémon Go app again once it was released that the second generation of pokémon were going to be added to the game. Was anyone going to be playing? Elle retrieved pokéballs from pokéstops. Caught Furrets, Murkrows, Spinaraks, realizing they were the new nuisances. She didn’t ride her bike anymore to catch pokémon and instead drove. Never passing by someone that seemed to be playing. There’s no way people could have still been playing.

It was almost midnight when Elle saw the silhouette of one of the legendary birds on the app’s radar. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but she screamed. She screamed so loud, quickly covering her mouth and hoping she hadn’t woken up her parents. She tiptoed, still in her pajamas, grabbing her car keys. She needed to get the legendary pokémon and didn’t want anyone stopping her.

She drove to the gas station two minutes from her house. She parked as close as she could to where the radar was telling her to go and still nothing. The legendary Pokémon didn’t show up. There was just another stupid pidgey.

She sighed and rubbed her face before slowly getting out of the car. She needed this legendary. She scanned the area before heading towards the small fountain next to the gas station. No one was here. There wouldn’t be. No one played anymore. Her feet thumped on the ground. She was on a mission. She kept her eyes glued on her phone, making sure she wouldn’t miss the legendary if it popped up.

That’s when it happened. Articuno appeared and she squealed, quickly tapping on the floating blue ice bird to catch it. She swiped strategically on the screen, making sure the ultra ball hit the bird. The ball twitched once. Twice. Three times. She caught it! She fist pumped into the air.

“Did you catch it?” a deep voice said.

Elle quickly looked up and saw a boy maybe around her age sitting on the edge of the fountain. Her eyes widened. Was he there the whole time? How did she not notice him?

“What?” she questioned. Pushing her blonde hair out of her face.

He smirked, the light from the gas station illuminating his face and his bright green eyes, “You’re playing Pokémon, right?”

“How could you tell?”

“No one in their right mind would be outside this late, swiping on their phone, and squealing.”

Elle glanced at the phone in his hand, showing a blue and green screen and a figure standing in the middle of it. He was playing too. “Well, I guess we’re the biggest nerds on this planet. There’s no way any smart person could pass on a legendary bird. I’m Elle, by the way.”

He laughed this time. Putting his right hand out for me to shake, “Matt.”


xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2017 || Kat

Flower Child


It was in May 1959. I had just turned ten years old. I spent hours trying to find the most perfect flowers to place in my hair. My mama called me a flower child. It was the first time I’ve ever heard that name. I assumed it was because of all the daisies scattered in my knotted hair. I remember running in my backyard. It seemed like a giant field then. I would run and run before I fell to the grass to watch the clouds go by. No one would ever catch me inside. In there, the news was on. Always showing war and violence. My papa would only yell at the screen. I would have the biggest frown and mama would have to tickle me until I smiled again. She would then pull me outside to lie in the grass to watch the stars appear and for the crickets to sing. She would say, “Be bold, my little flower child. You can change the world.”

1963 was the worst year of my life. It was April when I heard my parents yelling from inside. I knew I shouldn’t have gone in, but I had to. My mama was screaming on the couch while papa was showing her his new shotgun. He had it aimed right at her. I walked closer, pulling a daisy out of my hair. I placed the small delicate flower in the barrel. I didn’t think he was gonna shoot… but he did… twice. Once in my shoulder. Once in mama’s head. I remember lying on the floor, watching my little daisy burn to ashes. I don’t think I saw him again after that.

I was 18 now. The year was 1967. The crowd was full of people that looked like me. We were screaming, “make love, not war!” over and over again. The police had come to break us up. They were stood in a line. No one stopped screaming the chant when I walked closer to the man in uniform. His gun was pointed towards me. His blue eyes were growing wide with every step I took. I pulled the single daisy I had from behind my ear. I placed it in the barrel. He didn’t shoot this time… instead, he smiled and lowered his gun, “You’re bold, flower child.” I laughed, “I know. I learned from my mama.”

xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2017 || Kat

The Mysterious Cupcake


Wake up and get ready. Eat breakfast. Work in my cubicle for hours having a fruit for a snack in between. Eat dinner. Sleep for 8 hours. Such was my life. The same boring routine happens over and over again. It was February 29th at exactly 8:00 am when my usual routine was interrupted.

I walked into work passing by my two colleagues, Aaron and Gabe, in the office. They usually just waved when I walked in, but this time they started a conversation.

“Hey Elizabeth,” they said in unison.

Gabe smiled and said, “You look beautiful today. Did you change your hair?”

“Yeah? Did you cut it or something?” Aaron added.

I grabbed at my plain brown hair that was lying on my shoulders. It was in its usual middle part, plain and straight down. Nothing was different? It was the same as any other day.

I said confused, “Uh, no? I haven’t done anything different?”

“Well, you look nice today.” The two guys looked at each other while they nodded and smiled.

“Ok? Thanks?” I turned on my heels, quickly making my way to my little cubicle.

I placed my bags down and sat in my chair that was in front of my computer. That’s when I noticed it. A vanilla cupcake with swirled light pink frosting and white pearl sprinkles.

I looked around. There was no note anywhere. I picked up the cupcake and inspected it. It was real. I rolled back in my rolly chair into the little hallway to get a view of Aaron and Gabe. They were typing away at their computers. Weird.

I rolled back into my cubicle and placed the cupcake down to the side. I started working, but every few minutes I would look at the cupcake. Was it poison? Would it blow up? Maybe I should give it to someone else? Yeah, I thought. I would give it to someone else to see if it did anything.

I got back to working until it was noon. That was the usual time when I would pull out a fruit and eat it—today was a bowl of watermelon. I couldn’t stop looking at the cupcake.

Instead of pulling out my watermelon, I picked up the cupcake again and walked out to Aaron and Gabe. I said, “Did you guys leave this at my desk?”

They looked at each other and then looked at me, confused. “No? Neither of us has been by your desk.” Aaron said as Gabe nodded with him.

My mouth made an “o” shape. Gabe spoke up now, “Is it a secret admirer? Is there a note?”

I laughed at the idea of me having a secret admirer. I hadn’t been on a date in years, let alone gone out to meet anyone. “Good one. There wasn’t even a note. Maybe it was our boss. You’ll both get cupcakes too.”

Aaron smiles, “I bet it was a secret admirer. But either way, are you gonna eat that? It looks good.”

I looked down at the cupcake in my hand. Could it have been a secret admirer? I put my hand out for him to take the cupcake. “Let me know if it’s poisoned.” I laughed.

From there, things seemed normal again… until I walked into work the next day.

There was another cupcake. But this time it was chocolate with light blue frosting and a little fondant unicorn placed in the middle. It was cute. I thought that I should keep it for myself this time since Aaron seemed fine after eating it. I took a picture of it with the disposable camera I always kept in my bag.

At noon, I went out to Aaron and Gabe to show them the cupcake. They were confused that it happened again and that they didn’t get a cupcake too. I finally ate the cupcake, which was actually really delicious.

The next day there was another cupcake and then the next day and the next and next and next. There was a new cupcake on my desk every day for three weeks. Going from chocolate to vanilla, red velvet, purple icing, green icing, rainbow sprinkles, more fondant. Whoever was leaving these cupcakes for me really knew how to bake them. I gave a lot of the cupcakes to Aaron and Gabe since they didn’t mind eating cupcakes every day.

The three of us came to the conclusion that it had to be a secret admirer. We even tried to catch the person in action by using a video camera a couple of times, but it would always cut off from before the person came till we arrived at work. It was a true mystery.

One day my daily routine was different. My hair wouldn’t lay down straight the way it usually did so I had to put it in a ponytail, which then made me late to work. Aaron and Gabe were already busy working to notice me walk in the office. I walked into my cubicle, excited to see what kind of cupcake it was today. But this time there was no cupcake left, just a little velvet black box.

I quickly picked it up and ran out to Aaron and Gabe, “There isn’t a cupcake on my desk today! It’s a box!”

They looked surprised and yelled, “What are you doing?! Open it!”

I opened it and didn’t notice anything fall out. All I saw was the engagement ring with a big diamond. It had to be 2 or 3 karats. I was speechless and my mouth was wide open.

“Elizabeth? What is it?” Gabe asked.

I turned it around for them to see. Not even able to say a word.

“Woah.” That was the only thing I heard and I wasn’t sure who it came from.

I walked back to my desk without another word and just placed the box to the side. This is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. I could hear Aaron and Gabe whispering to each other.

I tried to get back to work and not think about the ring. Most of the time I just found myself sitting there, staring at the box. I finally got through the day and Aaron and Gabe had left home an hour ago. I was still shocked.

I picked up my belongings but left the ring on my desk. It had to be a joke. I didn’t want to bring the ring with me. It just felt too weird.

As I was walking out, I noticed a note on the floor. It must have fallen when I opened the ring box. I picked it up and slowly opened the small folded white paper.

It read: Did you miss me? –D xx.

The note dropped out of my hand. It couldn’t have been.

The biggest smile appeared on my face when I realized all those cupcakes and the ring had to be from David. David was my best friend since elementary school. We went through everything together, even the worst accounting class in college that we both failed. His family owned a bakery next to my parent’s shoe store. I lost contact with him a little bit after the time when he went in the military after we graduated from college. I remembered sending letters back and forth before I moved and had a change of address. I sent a letter with my new address to him, but a few weeks later I got my letter back with a “Return to Sender” stamped in red on the front.

It’s been four years.

I quickly grabbed the ring and went home. As soon as I got home, I grabbed my house phone and frantically dialed David’s parent’s shop. They had to still be there. The phone kept ringing and ringing. No one answered.

I called another five times and still no answer. It was useless.

I placed the ring down on my dining room table and went to take a shower. As soon as I wrapped a towel around me, I heard the doorbell ring. No one ever visited me?

Without thinking, I just went to answer the door. I was too anxious to open the door and didn’t realize I was still in my towel.

I opened my door to find David standing there. Pink roses in hand.

He looked me up and down before raising his bushy eyebrows. I laughed and said, “I was in the shower!”

I grabbed the roses and hugged him tight for a really long time. We finally broke the hug and I gestured him inside, running to wrap myself in a robe before coming back out. “How did you find me?” I asked.

“I went through hell to find you. I did get into contact with our parents, of course. They were happy to see me. Especially when I asked for your hand in marriage. Your mom practically made me deaf.” He grinned.

I had completely forgotten about the pact we made in our senior year of high school. If we weren’t with someone in 10 years, we were going to get married. I can’t believe it’s already been that long.

I was still standing up when David stood in front of me. I saw the familiar black box in his hand. He got on one knee and opened the box. The ring stunned me again.

“Yes!” I screamed before he got a chance to talk.

He laughed so hard, “Can’t you wait for what I have to say?”

I smile and impatiently say, “Ok, go! Go! Go!”

“…Elizabeth Re—“

“Yes!” I screamed again and he just rolled his eyes.

“I’ll just take that answer, I guess.” He placed the ring on my left ring finger and stood. I jumped right on him and he squeezed me back.

I smiled, “I’m glad my best friend is back. We’re going to have so much fun.”

xoxo kristal


All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2016 || Kat

Full of Promise


She woke up to sweet and low music playing on a spring morning, sun showing through the white lace curtains. The melodies of the song flowed like water. She closed her eyes again to listen a little longer before getting out of the comfy bed that was filled with white pillows and blankets. Stepping down onto the white pine wood flooring, she stretched her arms out wide. Leaving the pure white room, she walked slowly to grab her morning tea before sitting on the wide front porch in her favorite baby blue rocking chair. Her gray eyes scanned the clear open field that was her front yard, filled with daisies. Birds chirped and a slight breeze blew making the trees sway, dancing to the sweet and low music she still heard. She picked up her journal that she left on the small round table next to her chair and flipped it to an empty page. She grabbed her pen and started writing. The day was full of promise.

xoxo kristal

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2017 || Kat